The Wind that Blew like Rampaging Koalas

 SpongeBob ScaredyPants looked at the cursed sausage in his hands and felt healthy.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his hilly surroundings. He had always loved dull Truro with its plain, panicky parks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel healthy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Squidward . Squidward was a wild coward with ruddy abs and fluffy feet.

SpongeBob gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a helpful, understanding, whiskey drinker with wobbly abs and brunette feet. His friends saw him as a jealous, joyous juggler. Once, he had even helped a squealing injured bird recover from a flying accident.

But not even a helpful person who had once helped a squealing injured bird recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Squidward had in store today. 

The wind blew like rampaging koalas, making SpongeBob unstable. 

As SpongeBob stepped outside and Squidward came closer, he could see the nice smile on his face.

"I am here because I want a resolution," Squidward bellowed, in an articulate tone. He slammed his fist against SpongeBob's chest, with the force of 7239 rabbits. "I frigging love you, SpongeBob ScaredyPants."

SpongeBob looked back, even more unstable and still fingering the cursed sausage. "Squidward, get out of my house," he replied.

They looked at each other with sad feelings, like two decomposing, deep donkeys walking at a very cold-blooded birthday party, which had indie music playing in the background and two rude uncles bouncing to the beat.

Suddenly, Squidward lunged forward and tried to punch SpongeBob in the face. Quickly, SpongeBob grabbed the cursed sausage and brought it down on Squidward's skull.

Squidward's ruddy abs trembled and his fluffy feet wobbled. He looked cross, his body raw like a repulsive, resonant ruler.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Squidward was dead.

SpongeBob ScaredyPants went back inside and made himself a nice glass of whiskey.

THE END