Haru’s Inferkit Conversions

  EXT. TOWER BRIDGE, LONDON - AFTERNOON Lovable hairdresser KING SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS is arguing with charming lawyer MR. EUGENE KRABS. SPONGEBOB tries to hug EUGENE but he shakes him off. SPONGEBOB Please Eugene, don't leave me. EUGENE I'm sorry SpongeBob, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away. SPONGEBOB I am such a person! EUGENE frowns. EUGENE I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore. EUGENE leaves. SPONGEBOB sits down, looking defeated. Moments later, witty psychiatrist PRINCE PATRICK STAR barges in looking flustered. SPONGEBOB Goodness, Patrick! Is everything okay? PATRICK I'm afraid not. SPONGEBOB What is it? Don't keep me in suspense... PATRICK It's ... a tiger ... I saw an evil tiger fire a bunch of children! SPONGEBOB Defenseless  children? PATRICK Yes, defenseless children! SPONGEBOB Bloomin' heck, Patrick! We've got to do somethi...

  Once upon a time there was a moist boy called SpongeBob Dutchman. He was on the way to see his Patrick Flying Dutchman, when he decided to take a short cut through Awfulpool Forest. It wasn't long before SpongeBob got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Molly, but Molly was nowhere to be found! SpongeBob began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Molly. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry. Unexpectedly, he saw a cruel dog dressed in a purple bowler hat disappearing into the trees. "How odd!" thought SpongeBob. For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed dog. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest. Eventually, SpongeBob reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from carrots, a house made from chocolates, a house made from humbugs and a house made from tof...

  SpongeBob ScaredyPants was thinking about Squidward again. Squidward was a wild coward with ruddy abs and fluffy feet. SpongeBob walked over to the window and reflected on his hilly surroundings. He had always loved dull Truro with its proud, powerful parks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel healthy. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some one . It was the a wild figure of Squidward . SpongeBob gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a helpful, understanding, whiskey drinker with wobbly abs and brunette feet. His friends saw him as a joyous, jolly juggler. Once, he had even helped a nervous injured bird cross the road. But not even a helpful person who had once helped a nervous injured bird cross the road, was prepared for what Squidward had in store today.  The wind blew like rampaging koalas, making SpongeBob unstable. SpongeBob grabbed a cursed sausage that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers. As SpongeBob stepp...

  SpongeBob ScaredyPants looked at the cursed sausage in his hands and felt healthy. He walked over to the window and reflected on his hilly surroundings. He had always loved dull Truro with its plain, panicky parks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel healthy. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some one . It was the figure of Squidward . Squidward was a wild coward with ruddy abs and fluffy feet. SpongeBob gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a helpful, understanding, whiskey drinker with wobbly abs and brunette feet. His friends saw him as a jealous, joyous juggler. Once, he had even helped a squealing injured bird recover from a flying accident. But not even a helpful person who had once helped a squealing injured bird recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Squidward had in store today.  The wind blew like rampaging koalas, making SpongeBob unstable.  As SpongeBob stepped outside and Squidward came closer, he cou...

  SpongeBob ScaredyPants had always loved dull Truro with its purring, precious parks. It was a place where he felt healthy. He was a helpful, understanding, whiskey drinker with wobbly abs and brunette feet. His friends saw him as a jolly, jealous juggler. Once, he had even helped a wrong injured bird cross the road. That's the sort of man he was. SpongeBob walked over to the window and reflected on his hilly surroundings. The wind blew like rampaging koalas. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some one . It was the figure of Squidward . Squidward was a wild coward with ruddy abs and fluffy feet. SpongeBob gulped. He was not prepared for Squidward.  As SpongeBob stepped outside and Squidward came closer, he could see the puny glint in his eye. Squidward gazed with the affection of 7084 articulate raw rabbits. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a resolution." SpongeBob looked back, even more unstable and still fingering the cursed sausage. ...

 French Narrator: Halloween is no different under the waves. Pirates, skeletons, and sea monsters. [laughs evilly] Ohh, sorry. Everyone having fun. Well, almost everyone. [SpongeBob is washing the dishes in the Krusty Krab kitchen. The door creaks open, and SpongeBob jumps in surprise]  SpongeBob: Huh? Who's there? [door creaks open some more as SpongeBob goes back to washing some dishes. Turns around and three pieces of paper spelling out "boo" turn on the ordering turntable. SpongeBob gets an idea.  Quick montage as Spongebob puts on a wig, glasses, and beard and changes into his pirate uniform complete with sword.  Splashes a bit of water onto his newly washed and combed hair to make it stand up and spits out mischievous spiky toothpaste from his mouth.  Along the way he mentions "pissed off," "batting cage," "fish brain," "jealous rival," "envy," and "resentment."  The suave and sullen captain sits in his off...