Ghosted (Alt Version)

 (Episode Starts with Rubber Spatula Making Eggy's Dress) 

Rubber Spatula: Now, don't move, Eggy. Just one more stitch. 

(Rubber Spatula Cuts the Thread) 

Rubber Spatula: There. All done. 

Eggy: How do i look? 

Rubber Spatula: Like an angel. Oh, my! No wonder she's the star of the school play. 

(Eggy Giggles) 

Rubber Spatula: And such a scary play. The Legend of Human Hollow. (Shivers) SparkleHeart, who is playing the terrifying Headless Horseman? 

SparkleHeart: Not me. i'm a mushroom. 

(Eggy Giggles) 

SparkleHeart: i love the idea of putting on a play. 

Rubber Spatula: You see, SparkleHeart? Sometimes we must play small parts to prepare for bigger parts that come later. 

Eggy: i'm gonna sing that Cinderella song at rehearsal next day. 

Rubber Spatula: That's terrific, Eggy.  

The Moon and the Stars don't wait for anyone.  Don't move.  They take the lid off!  (Stamp starts to sing) The Moon and the Stars, a Mighty Fairy Tale.  The Body of an Amateur Idol.  (Lays a String)  But wait!

(Scene Fades to the Ghostly Forest) 

(Rubber Spatula Humming Through the Bushes) 

(Rubber Spatula Eats Cake's Cupcake) 

Rubber Spatula: Who. Who's there? 

(Cake is Covered in Flour) 

Rubber Spatula: i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it's a g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g.  

And now it's a big kiss-ake.  

Rubber Spatula: You're a real c-c-candy.  

Cake: owwww!!  Pew!  pew!  pew!  Well, it's better than sex with Cake.  Hey!  He can talk.

(Cake is Covered in Flour) 

Rubber Spatula: i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it's a g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost! 

He pauses and look sadly at Caitlin and we hear his Master’s voice.

Eggy: Hey, SparkleHeart, Rubber Spatula. 

Rubber Spatula: Oh, hey, guys. 

Eggy: There's no school today, and i thought it might be go out to the Ghostly Forest to find Cake. 

SparkleHeart: Ghostly Forest? Did you say find Cake? 

Rubber Spatula: Yes. 

SparkleHeart: Oh, no! Cake! Let's find him! 

SparkleHeart: Let's go, Eggy.  

Eggy: He's in the abandoned slum.

(Rubber Spatula and his Friends Arrive in the Ghostly Forest) 

Rubber Spatula: Look, guys, it's just beyond that rise. Ghostly Forest. 

Eggy: g-g-g-Ghastly Forest.  

Spike: a-a-a-a--a nice pot of gold at the end of the spooky maze!  

Goldilocks and the Three Bears Roar at the Chorus (which has stopped moving)

Eggy: g-g-g-Ghostly? SparkleHeart, maybe i should stay here. 

SparkleHeart: Okay, you stay here, and i'll make sure the coast is clear. 

Eggy: Hey, look, guys. There's a plank that says, "Haunted House." 

(Rubber Spatula, Eggy, and SparkleHeart Look at Each Other) 

Eggy: When you're fast asleep. In dreams, you will lose your heartache. 

(Rubber Spatula's Friends Hear what Eggy Said) 

Eggy: What is it?

Rubber Spatula: Whatever you do, SparkleHeart, don't jump in Eggy's arms if there's anything scary. 

SparkleHeart: i'll try to stay warm.  

SparkleHeart: Don't pretend to be something you're not.  

SparkleHeart: Bring some to Charlie.  

SparkleHeart: As much as she loves you, you know she hates me.

Rubber Spatula: Hello? Anyone there? 

Cake (Off-Screen): Come on in. 

Eggy: w-Who said that? 

Cake (Off-Screen): Why, i did. It's me, Cake. 

(Eggy Pushes Rubber Spatula) 

(Rubber Spatula Bravely Holds her Hand) 

Rubber Spatula: It's all right. Just follow me, and don't be afraid. 

Candle (Off-Screen Voice Over) Came by, and i saw you singing like that.  

Cake (Off-Screen Voice Over) Rubber Spatula: i said "come by and ask questions".  

In the slow music.  c/u: vcr Screen, a "return to playing" display appears, a "resume recorded programming" bar becomes visible below it, and then below that, the volume bar.  

Memories (Off-Screen Voice Over): It wasn't much more than. 

Eggy: There's nothing to be afraid of. There's nothing to be afraid of. 

(Eggy Felt a Touch, it was a Spider) 

(Eggy Screams and Hides) 

SparkleHeart: Eggy, don't worry. It's just me, SparkleHeart. 

(SparkleHeart/Eggy) 

Sparkle,heart (Eggy Please, don't be afraid Sparkle.  Nothing to be afraid of.  Be not afraid, be not afraid.  of the raindrops on Eggy, on Eggy please, on Eggy.  there's nothing to be afraid of a Rainbow, Eggy, try not to freak out.  Now watch it please, slowly - vellum - vellum - a beautiful song that starts to tease a little, and back to Eggy happily, the sound of running water.  Oooo ohhhhh.  beat.  Eggy - velly - velly - velly, velly, velly, velly - velly, velly, velly, velly, velly, velly, velly, velly, velly, velly, velly, velly.  Subtitle: The heart has stopped, and yes, the heart is still stopped.  a beat.  

Eggy, on the shore of the rainbow-stitched lake, is now a scared little fairy girl whose heart has been stopped.  Her blue eyes are totally lost.  Her teeth are long and almost as big as her little legs.  Her hair is pretty straight.  She just looks like a very poor fairy girl.  She turns a curve and suddenly all the air is squeezed from her body.  Her clothes drop away.  She falls to the sand with a great flop and has quite a bellyful of water.  She gasps as arms reach out towards her.

(Cake Went to Wash the Pain Off) 

(All of a Sudden, She is Ambushed by a Bedsheet) 

("Psycho" Theme is Heard) 

(Cake is Trapped in a Sheet Giving Them an Impression of a Ghost) 

(What Happened to my Mother and me) 

(What Happened to Jesus?)  

cut to: Guy, Making out.  Long, long, long pause.  

(No Sleeptings).  

Guy, On his Back is a Monk.

(Just Then Cake Pops Out as a Ghost, and Wails) 

Eggy and Rubber Spatula: a ghost!!

An egg goes rolling down the hallway.  (Just as before) in it is a ghost of Bride.  She’s gone!  But still looks sharp.  She is in a wedding dress.  and Eggsydol.  She tucks the soaked dress into a jewelry box, when suddenly the the front door is kicked open as the red scarecrow looms in, and farts.  The nasty red bridal gown goes flying.  Eggsydol's ghost vanishes.  

Eggy and Rubber Spatula: a dr. harvest lies on the ground.  Blood pours down from his stomach.

Eggy and Rubber Spatula: a ghost!! 

(SparkleHeart Turns Around is Startled) 

SparkleHeart: Where's the ghost?! 

Eggy: Right there! 

SparkleHeart: Dammit, Eggy!  Eggy Should Have Stomped on my Butt.  But it’s Okay ‘cuz Your a Fairy!  (Holds The antenna still) 

Eggy and Rubber: Dammit!!!  dammit!!!  

Eggy: i’m an Officer of the Royal Egg Hunters Society.  they told me not to trust you.  but i don’t listen to them, dammit! 

(They Laugh) 

SparkleHeart: Have you found Cake yet? 

Eggy: No, SparkleHeart. And Rubber Spatula and i looked everywhere. 

(Eggy and Rubber Spatula Hear Eerie Noises) 

(a Ghost Appears and Haunts Them) 

(Eggy and Rubber Spatula are Scared) 

Cake: (Spooky voice) Ooooooooooh! 

(Sparkleheart Blows Fire and Enters the Dungeon)  

Eggy and Rubber Spatula and I rush at each other, singing loud.

(The ghost comes near the Rubber Spatula and his gang. Rubber Spatula, SparkleHeart and Eggy ran for his lives.) 

Rubber Spatula: Get away from us, ghostie! 

(Cake Moans) 

Eggy: Go and spook up someone else's house! 

(Rubber Spatula, SparkleHeart and Eggy Screams, then Faints) 

(Cake is lifted off his costume, lands on ground in front of them all.)  

Cake: Woo hoo, boys!  They were scared!  (Cake laughs) Woo hoo, boys!  They were blown away!  (Cake laughs again) Woo hoo, boys!  They are going to be famous!  

(Cake and Goo-Goo, Bill and Elsa, Cake, Smoochie and Snackaboo, Rose and Duke, Moose, Elliot and Benjy, Louise, and the rest of the gang scream, laugh and run away.)  

Eggsy: Mummy, if the ghost is gone, i'm next!  

(Mummy runs off screen in tears) 

(The ghost disappears, he is unseen, walks past the gang of laughing goons) but then this happens to the other ghost.  

Cape Town Moon: Cape Town, a?  

Cape Town Moon: a?  

(i can make Cape Town a Moon) Ghost Cape Town, Cape Town a?  (reappears) but then the Cape Town Moon crashes down from the sky.  The Spooky Ones seem to hover over the city.  It is a large scary black cloud, touching the earth.  Stark Magician Looks up.  bewildered, he looks around at the sky and sees a tiny 7-pointed star.  8-ish, black magi-comic witch.  She looks up.  Same result, the tiny, black 7-pointed star falls from the sky.  Marquee Boy.  Same result.  Short and sour, tall, leggy Mummy costume steps forward.  Possessed, she walks down streets, screaming for her son, crying, cursing at him, shaking, ranting and raving.  

wolf: get down, you bigness!  

(Cake and Goo-Goo scream and run) 

Cookie: Come on you kids, you're in danger!  

(The ghost drops down from the sky, laughing) 

Dick: You're afraid of a ghost?  Witch, i'm here for my baby!  

(She puts her baby hand over her mouth.  Screams) 

(Ghost and Witch, both laugh and runs off screen.  The Witch crawls off screen.  The Ghost crawls up to her.  Witches body begins to transform.  The size of pieces of wooden dowel fall out of its body.  It begins to glow, resembling candy.  It turns into the most adorable candy l pussylittle mouse wizard.  it holds it's hands over it's mouth)