The Ghost of Plankton (Alt version)

 [The episode begins at a spooky haunted house. a scared woman frantically runs from an old lady ghost. She goes to hide in a room and locks the door. However, the ghost floats through the door and corners her inside.] 

Unnamed woman: Grandma.  Gotta get out.  

The Old Lady Ghost: You can't!  

Woman: Why?  

The Old Lady Ghost: i'm tired!  

Woman [getting angrier]: Of all the.  This is my house! [The screen pans out to reveal it is just a scary horror movie Plankton is watching from Karen's monitor.] 

Plankton: [laughs] Get her, Grandma! [laughs as he gets covered in the blanket] i'm the ghost of Plankton! Wooo!  

Haunted House: No!  No!  It's mine.  

Woman: i don't see you doing the dishes for anyone.  

Uncle Grandpa: But you have to have faith in tomorrow, Karen.  

Just as the Old Lady Ghost knocks on the door, Plankton cuts away from the monitor to reveal the different rooms of the house.  The door to the bathroom bursts open and Plankton walks out holding a spatula and close to the wall. 

Plankton: [trips over the sofa's armrest, removes his blanket and a lightbulb lights up above him] Hey, that gives me an idea. [hops onto Karen and changes the screen to make the blueprint of his plan] Hmm, if i were a ghost, i could walk right through the walls of the Krusty Krab and take the Krabby Patty secret formula! [giggles] 

Karen: [turns the lights on and shakes the blueprint screen off] Ah! All right, that's it! You ruined another movie night with your secret formula garbage. [drops Plankton] i'm pulling the plug. [pulls the plug and shuts herself off] 

Plankton: [groans as he stand up; waves his hand in anger] Ah. Let's see. Now all i need to do is invent a. [pulls a red curtain for a few seconds and pulls it back to reveal a skull-shaped machine] Ghost Guide!  

Ghost Guide: The ghost.  Just press a button.  Tell us when you need help.  

Plankton: Okay, we got a deal.  [gets down on one knee] 

Ghost Guide: i accept. [Two robot arms come down with a squeezer tube for icing bags. They put it on Plankton's head then roll him up like a tube of toothpaste. Out of the squeezer is a green substance. It floats up and morphs into Plankton. Plankton has now become a ghost.] 

Plankton: [looks at his dead body and whistles] i look like i just saw a ghost. Oh, it's my time now. [flies through the Chum Bucket doors and laughs] Success! [floats over to the Krusty Krab, flies through the front doors, and happily goes into the safe in Mr. Krabs' office] You gotta give up the ghost if you wanna make toast.  Woo!  Get ready for the creepiest show in town!  [he heads into the back] Thank you, Mr.  Kruger.  [sticks his head out the door to the back alley] Yay.

Miss Naughty: You are, that's what. You can't just float in on your first day and pick things up. [laughs as he shrinks down to Plankton’s size; then he floats into the safe and picks up the bottle] Here you go. [the bottle floats through Plankton] Oh, grab it. [taunts Plankton with the bottle] Grab it! Get it! [laughs] 

Plankton: i can't even catch a little bottle of wine without getting Short-Stick'd.  My boss’s comin’ over here to see what i'm doing.  [clumsily grabs the bottle, laughing in Plankton�s face] Ha!  i'll get it.  Give me.  i got it.  [plunks down next to the safe door and hears a familiar laugh.  He faintly sees Mr.  Kruger.  To be in the show.  He throws the treasure back to Mr.Kruger] What's up, Mr.Kruger?  [all the other cast members walk over to see what he's got] Oh.

Miss Naughty: i like you, squirt. i got a soft spot in me dead heart for thieves [opens his chest, pokes a hole in his old heart and it deflates] i can teach you how to pick things up. 

Plankton: [squeals happily] i love you. [flies off into the blue skies]  Hey, wait a minute.it's not for me.heh heh heh.  It's for Mr.Mr.Kruger.  [beams in Mr.Krugers office, where the latter is playing with a Rubik's cube]  

Mr.Kruger: [turns around]  Plankton, what do you want?  [gets up and walks over to his desk]  

Plankton: [pops out of nowhere] i need your help, Mr.Kruger.i'm having trouble with my love life.  

Mr.Kruger: [sighs]  Plankton, i told you not to waste my time with this nonsense anymore.just get out of here!  [walks over to his window and stares outside] 

Plankton: [gets angry] how would you like it if someone was always telling you what to do?

Miss Naughty: First lesson... Shape-shifting. [cuts to behind the Krusty Krab] Shape-shifting is one of the easiest things a ghost can do. You just have to think of a horrible thing and poof! [changes into a monster, a walrus, a rattlesnake, a bat, and a Plankton: [runs inside] 

Mr.Kruger: [sighs]  Plankton, i told you not to waste my time with this nonsense anymore.just get out of here!  [walks over to his window and stares outside] 

Plankton: [gets angry] how would you like it if someone was always telling you what to do? 

Miss Naughty: First lesson... Shape-shifting.[cuts to behind the Krusty Krab] Shape-shifting is one of the easiest things a ghost can do. You just have to think of a horrible thing and poof! [changes into a monster, a walrus, a rattlesnake, a bat, and a Pearl: [runs inside] 

Mr.Kruger: [sighs]  Plankton, i told you not to waste my time with this nonsense anymore.just get out of here!  [walks over to his window and stares outside] 

Plankton: [gets angry] how would you like it if someone was always telling you what to do?

Miss Naughty: First lesson... Shape-shifting. [cuts to behind the Krusty Krab] Shape-shifting is one of the easiest things a ghost can do. You just have to think of a horrible thing and poof! [changes into a monster, a walrus, a rattlesnake, and a bat] 

Pearl: [runs inside] 

Mr.Kruger: [sighs] Plankton, i told you not to waste my time with this nonsense anymore.just get out of here!

Miss Naughty: First lesson... Shape-shifting. [cuts to behind the Krusty Krab] Shape-shifting is one of the easiest things a ghost can do. You just have to think of a horrible thing and poof! [changes into a monster, a walrus, a rattlesnake, a bat, and a Pearl look-alike]

Miss Naughty (in Pearl’s voice): You be the judge of what’s horrible. [laughs]

Mr.Kruger: [sighs] That’s it! [walks over to Miss Naughty, shrugs and uses his powers to change her back into herself] 

Miss Naughty: What?

Miss Naughty: [changes back] Now, you try.

[Plankton gives his shape-shifting ability a try. However, he turns into an odd-looking shape.]

Plankton: I did it!

Miss Naughty: [facepalms in annoyance] That's not horrible! What were you thinking?! [takes out a sprayer and sprays Plankton] Bad ghost! Bad! [takes out another sprayer and sprays Plankton again] Good ghost! Good! [takes out a third sprayer and sprays Plankton yet again] 

Mr.Kruger: That’s it! [walks over to Miss Naughty, shrugs and uses his powers to change her back into herself] 

Miss Naughty: What? 

Mr.Kruger: Now, you try. [Miss Naughty changes into a monster, a walrus, a rattlesnake, a bat, and a Pearl look-alike]

Miss Naughty (in Pearl’s voice): You become it!

Miss Naughty (in a monster’s voice): You become it! [Miss Naughty changes back to her normal self] 

Miss Naughty: I don't understand. How do we get rid of Plankton?

[Plankton coughs and changes into an exact copy of Miss Naughty, but with one eye.]

Miss Naughty: Hmm. Now, that's horrible!

Plankton: Now, can you teach me how to pick things up?

Miss Naughty: Not yet. [snaps his fingers as a mallet appears and whacks Plankton on the head] Next lesson, scaring. [cuts to a dark alley] Pay close attention, squirt. This is how you scare someone.

[A robber runs down the alley with a bag of money. He hears some scary noises from behind and becomes scared. Just as he turns around, Miss Naughty lets out a devastating roar and makes a horrifying face. The robber screams in fright as he drops his bag of money and runs away.] 

Miss Naughty: See? That's how you scare someone. 

Plankton: Wow, that was easy! [Miss Naughty snaps] Next lesson, stealing. [cuts to the Krusty Krab kitchen] Step one: snatch the customer's wallet while they're ordering. [Plankton tries to do so but he fails at it.] This is harder than it looks!

Miss Naughty: [snaps] Focus, Plankton! You'll get it eventually. Now let's try again. [Plankton tries to snatch the wallet but fails again.] 

Miss Naughty: That's it! You're done for today.

Miss Naughty: [takes out a golf club] Next lesson. [hits Plankton back into his ghost body] Haunting houses. [cuts to Squidward's house as thunder roars in background and Squidward is sleeping in his bed]All right, pupil, it's time to apply all you've learned and frighten this guy's legs off.

Plankton: With pleasure. [Plankton goes up to Squidward's bed, but doesn't know what to do. He tries his hand at scaring Squidward by howling like a wolf and laughing maniacally, but it only wakes him up.] 

Squidward: What the? [SpongeBob walks into Squidward's house] 

SpongeBob: Hiya!

Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing here? 

SpongeBob: Just passing by. I saw a light on in your house and thought it was strange. [SpongeBob turns into a ghostly version of himself and scares Squidward. Squidward runs out of the drawers and gets hit in the head when he crashed into the ceiling. Squidward falls down to the floor and is knocked out unconscious. Plankton throws the clarinet away and SpongeBob takes it back.] 

SpongeBob: Ah, he'll be fine once the clarinet warms up. [SpongeBob and Plankton leave Squidward's house]

Plankton: Thanks for helping me steal his clarinet, SpongeBob. You're a real pal!